Sitting by me

Watch me,
teach me,
want me,
tease me,
is all the things you do.
You like many but,
can there be me and you?

Melody of the Story

  Slowly my violin cries;

As the bow weeps across the strings.

The tone swells in the air

                 and

                 the notes

            drop

         to the cold floor.

    The readied position,

as the violin takes a       breath.

Quick;

My bow as it jumps.

Notes sing and wake the air.

A pop to my step

            and a twirl to the dance,

we swirl and swing as one.

The

            short

                        notes

                                    chirping

                                                    sweetly.

A gentle sway to the rhythm.

The bow happily eases,

and encourages the notes from hiding.

A leisurely descent,

as the notes recede.

The air sits unruffled;

                                    And still.

A Daughter to Remember

This was written not to long ago (February 10, 11) It's for health and it is sort of poorly wiritten. although it was for Health 1...not english class. n.n

                                  

A Daughter to Remember
Charlie; at the age of 28 , had a daughter. Charlie’s mother and father were both under the strong power of alcoholism.  Unfortunately their daughter Charlie was mixed up in it all.  Charlie’s  daughter  Kate wasn’t mixed up in the alcohol that her mother drank continuously. Even at the age of 12 Kate knew that her mother was just trying to make herself feel better, by making herself drunk and getting high on occasions.  She was ashamed of her mother and did her best to avoid getting in her path.
        Charlie was depressed and stressed out about  keeping her house.  And I have a daughter. She thought as she took a large swing at her Vodka. Kate walked past the kitchen door, her mom’s eyes following her drowsily.
“Kate?” Charlie rasped, gripping her robe shut. She just got out of bed. Kate, who’d just came home from school, sighed and took a tentative step into the sweet smelling room.
“Yes?”
“Can you go into my room and get me my cigarettes?”  What Kate heard was: Canou oentoo mah rrooom an get meh mi ciga…rettes? Her mother giggled and smiled. Kate felt the urge to groan in disgusted  but suppressed it in fear that her mom would get aggressive.
“Okay,” She answered and immediately  left.
She stomped to her mother’s room the gross smell of smoke slapped her face and harassed her nose.  Where does mom even get the money for stupid cigarettes? Kate thought harshly, eyebrows knitted together. She looked at her mother’s undid bed and sloppy room. She took in the gagging smell. The urge to clean it all up and toss everything in the room out into the street was great but making her mother worse my ruining her already ruined room would tear her apart.
        Randomly, she chose the pack with the least number of the tiny rolls and jetted down to the stairs. She tossed the pack and headed to the fridge. Upon opening it she sighed. “Mom…what’s to eat?” She said simply.  Her mother scoffed and then giggled.
“Honey if it’s food you want. Then here.” Charlie took out a few twenties and shoved it to the floor. Kate picked them out without  question and left. She stepped outside, the warm night wrapping her in it’s arms. She couldn’t remember the last time her mother had been clean of alcohol.  She  couldn’t remember the last time her mother had wrapped her up in her arms and had been a real mother.
        Kate finished her shopping, having to walk a few good blocks. Charlie had managed to get her license taken away. Kate felt that it was for the better. She walked over a flier. It stuck to her shoe ominously and she stripped it off. The flier in hand, she read it. It was a therapist group. Kate’s mind spun and she folded up the paper and suck it in her pocket, address in mind.  Does her mom even know what a therapist group is? Her mom dropped out of high school thinking that it was too hard.
Kate found the therapist place. It was going on now. She listened to get a feel on what it was like. Her mom wouldn’t like it, They talked about getting family to pitch in for these people’s issues.

This was something that  Mom avoided. Her sister is her only family. Just like her except that Her sister recovered. Her sister decided to do something about her addiction and got better, Kate’s mom has been very jealous that her sister got better and she didn’t. Kate smiled at the people who where there. They didn't see her, she was too shy to show herself, but she enjoyed watching them smile.

When Kate arrived home she found her mother asleep on the couch, she disposed of the cigarette butt dangling between her fingers lifelessly. She really wanted a bottle of water, Kate's throat ached for something wet. However the tap water in this house was not all that clean. Glancing down at the flier in her hand her mind spun once more.

What if I could help my mom? She thought with hope.

30 years later...

Charlie's hand was working frivolously at her tangled hair. The steamed mirror reflected Kate's mother. Her graying golden brown hair, round cheeks, red lips, all of what Charlie was now. All thanks to Kate. Charlie could scarcely remember how she got here, all she knew was that it took a lot of small simple steps. Kate was there every step, Charlie's older sister meeting them halfway to accompany them both to their goal.

Nearing Charlie's 35^th birthday an unfortunate event happened upon the family. Kate's death. It couldn't have been avoided. Her death, like many others, was sad. The person in the car was drunk and not watching, when she clipped Kate in the shoulder with the rear view mirror. She fall she took is what killed her.

The child's mother had wept, knowing that the passing of her only daughter is nothing like she's ever felt before. Charlie had felt moved by Kate's death. In knowing that the person driving was drunk, she felt like it could have been her, 20 years back. She could have hit somebody. Charlie had then really stopped smoking, throwing out every pack she could find. She had been starting to quit but had always taken another one everyday.

Charlie finished getting ready for work. She looked at her new home. It was only a bit bigger, though, it was nicer and didn't reek of smoke and alcohol. It was bought not only to get away but also as apart of Charlie's way in renewing her life. The feeling of a new start exhilarated her blood.

Heading down the hall, she stopped in front of the fireplace.

“Kate,” She said, touching one of the pretty pictures of her unforgotten daughter. “I– “

She choked. “I...am better. I got a job and followed your rules.” Charlie surprised herself with a nervous chuckle. “Things had to get worse before it got better, I guess. However, my baby, I learned much. And even though... you can't be here physically, I feel like I can finally be a true mother to you. I got to see you grow up...

“I am so proud of you ,Kate. A– all of the things that you did for me in my life. All of those words you said to me. You were the mother I never had. You, Kate, are my family. You and my sister, us three healing me but also each other. You and my sister healed my sickness, I healed the hole in your heart, the hole that should have been filled by a mother's love, and you also reunited me with my sister.

“Things would be so...off. Kate...I...I'm......sorry!” She collapsed in tears, shoulders shaking up and down with grief mixed with happiness. “I-I-I'd have never felt all of this before, K-kate. Your love, determination, passion for healing me, helping me. I could never have even realized that you did all that.

“I see now, why all this was important. Even thought you're gone, you are not really gone. You are still here. With me. You wanted me to remember you to cherish you after you've left.” She smiled through her tears, clenching her fingers tight. She picked up her daughter's picture and kissed it tenderly. Charlie's body shook vigorously her voice choked as she coughed hard. Her head was light and the world spun. This is it She was thinking, It's my time to leave.

A weak smile formed on her lips, she had looked forward to her own passing feeling that she could finally be with her Kate.

It's okay

And it's okay
to fall in love
Like this (Like this)

But as i fall
Any place at all
You'll be there

An' it's okay (it's okay)
it's okay to fall
down (down down)

As you see me
rushing down
to meet you (youuu)
Make me believe
I have it all!

Cuz it's okay to fall in love
like this
were every smile will always
end with a kiss
hold me close right there in
your heart
so i feel your pain
i feel your pain

And i look out
in the pouring rain
i stand
all alone.

It's okay to fall
like this
but only if you're
there (there there)
to catch me
to hold me
to make me
fall in love....
again.

Boys

The boys who crush
The boys who flirt
The total romantic
The one who peek up skirts

From best friend to boyfriend
Boyfriend to ex
They are so annoying
but also the best

Come and go like the wind
yet stick like glue
Girls love, hate and think your annoying
so why do we like you?

When i met you both

CHAPTER ONE

Drafting Memories

If, and only if, you’re lucky a stranger will tell you how they feel. This is what I do for a hobby. I put myself in positions so it’s polite to ask how someone is. But I choose very carefully. I really don’t just plop myself down and ask how they are, it’s not like that. I study their expressions, movements. Like right now for example. I’m in the park. It’s late fall and the wind is playing with the fallen leaves, urging them to dance. Ha! That's very poetic indeed, I may even be a poet. Any how, my shoes tread the earth slowly, contemplating their next move.

Hands in pockets, fiddling with some sort of candy wrapper left to dispose of themselves, I shivered. My thing sweater really wasn't cutting it. The girl I was looking for came into view. My eager eyes found her. Heart thudding embarrassingly I cleared my throat. She had a handful of magazines. Scarcely enough room to keep hold of a cup of coffee. The bright bold red of the petticoat that she wore clashed with her shimmery strawberry blonde hair, cold bitten cheeks, black gloves and scarf. I liked the way the wind wanted her hair to dance, maybe a bit too much being that strands fluttered against her cheeks wildly.

The thing about this girl is her facial expressions. They sprawl across her face making it so easy to read how she feels. She knows how to disguise her sadness by a confident look, yet to a trained eye (like mine!) you could tell how well she wore her mask of emotions. She walked with head held high, giving the impression that she has all her life laid out before her. The moment she is distracted, however, the sadness clings to her face before being made up by a new mask. This girl caught my attention but was gone before I could even blink. But today, here she is. A man bumped into me, “Outta my way boy!” He groaned making a scene big enough for her to look to us then away. My face heated. “Sorry,” I said as the man stalked off. Trying not to stand there with my face red, I began to walk kingly to the girl as she plopped down ungracefully on a bench. As I came up into her view the glossy covers of her magazines out did themselves as they slid stealthily and crashed to the ground. She sighed, picking them up. She managed to retrieve one before I crouched to pick up the rest.

“Oh! Um,” she chuckled sitting back into the bench. “Thank you so much.” I stood up and placed the magazines next to her.

“Hey,” I said with a smirk, “no problem. Picking up mags really is something I do everyday.” I earned a smile plus a giggle. I felt happy to see the sadness vanish, even if it is for only a moment. 1

“Really? Well then, I never expected that a guy like you would help a girl like me.” She looked up at me, eyebrows raised. She spoke as if she knew me. I cocked my head with a quizzical look. “A guy like me? What exactly does that mean?”

“Well lessee. One, you are a very popular boy who goes to my school. Two, bing that you are popular you sorta are a jerk. Three, I never expected you to help me whatsoever because, four, I am a total and complete book nerd.”

Things kinda paused. Ever had a moment in life where things pause in your head just so you can work things out? Well, when you have an extremely cute girl tell you that you are a popular jerk who she never expected to be a gentleman-like (Being that 'jerk' and 'gentleman' don't have anything in common except for the beginnings that sound the same) you don't exactly feel anything except for a dull and pitiful 'duh'. I could say this is all a dream, get up and walk away but I'd really only consider this a nightmare taken that I sat there silently with this screwed up I'm-gonna-be-in-the-bathroom-a-wile look. Which, lemme tell ya, It's not all that sexy. So I squared my shoulders and pressed my mental 'play' button on life. Then I ruined my witty comment by saying, “Reading is sexy.”

“Book nerds aren't sexy, neither is reading.” She rolled her eyes.

“I saw you reading in the park this morning, you make it sexy.”

“Oh please, you don't even know me,”She crossed her legs and picked up a magazine, flipping through its contents. She deliberately put it up so I couldn't see her face as she smiled and blushed. Even still. She had a point. I didn't know her but it's apparent that she knows me. Although I don't know where she's getting at with me being popular, I don't have many good friends at Willis High. I only have a few guys that come over every once in a while and I talk to them at lunch but it's not like we are best buds. I really only keep to my self, if anything I am the nerd being I'm a senior with a 4.0 GPA.

“But you know me?” I said, sitting down next to her. “Did you know that I have no clue when you say I'm popular? I only have maybe five friends and I'm the geek here. 4.0 GPA. Not that I'm bragging I'm sure you are a straight A student also.”

The magazine lowered so only her eyes showed. My eyes drowned in her's. They where a soft green like the greed of dying grass, so lovely... Hold on. Sorry that was majorly insulting and doesn't really flow... um. Her eyes where green like the soft sleek green resembling a rose stem. I saw her like a rose, and her red petticoat really was outstanding. I'm sure that when she blossoms and her petals open up to me I'll know that she had fully trusted me to see her full beauty. Her voice slid into my thoughts breaking the spell.

“Who doesn't? I mean who doesn't know you. Sure you limit yourself to few guy friends and hardly ever look at any of the girls in school but girls still marvel over you like you are some god, they guys all want to know how you get all the attention and the fact that you keep to yourself plus not noticing makes you seem too good for us all.

“You are Seth Coren. I've known you since you first came here in 5^th grade! Here we are, civil seniors seven years later and you still don't remember me. I know you I've watched how everyone grew up into their own people. I even know what happened between you and your last girlfriend, Brianna. Hell, everyone knows.” Well that finalized it. She knows me pretty well and I know zilch because I can not remember crap about this girl. “Anyway you wouldn't remember me, I have changed a lot since junior year,” She added.

My mind flew, putting puzzle pieces together every which way until I had a full picture. Her name was Alys. Alys Trinae, also known as Ditzy Alys famously known for her overly hyper personality in grade school up until sophomore year. My friends in fifth grade had named her that and the name stuck like gum in your hair.

“I remember now! Oh god I do, you where that same girl that fell when you where running around crazy and fell. Except you fell all wrong and ended up having to go to the hospital and so on.” I burst. Alys's eyes sparked at the memory, “Yeah I did. I got some stitches and the end result was a wicked scar on my neck.” I cringed.

“Ow.” We laughed. Talking more we didn't notice the falling of the sun. We talked so much that even the hurtful topic of my girlfriend came up.

“So what's up with you and Bri? I mean, why'd she really dump you?” I breathed slowly, weighing my words. “Well, let me start first with this. Sure you think I’m popular and all and that I am a jerk, I get that. I am actually a very good listener. I come to the park every day because I like to listen to people talk about their lives, be it a bad moment or the best in their days. You would not believe how emotional people are when they are excited about something!I have lots of time. I guess I could hang out with my roughly five friends or Bri but I like to be alone at some points and be with other more rather interesting people. I'm sure this is all confusing to you,” I said chuckling a little bit, “The unknown life of Seth revealed!” We both laughed at that.

“Go on,” Alys urged, facing me.

“So, every day I go out to this park and I'll find someone who looks really happy about something or the opposite and I'll say “How are you?” sometimes you'll get a 'fine' by someone upset and I'll press on with a “Are you sure?”. By then they'll want to talk. Mostly.

“Sometimes it wont work and I'll find someone else. I think that people should have a complete stranger there to spill the beans to. Someone who will listen and help them along the way. I like listening to all these people so I can help them best I can. It's like none other.” Alys smiled at my small out burst, “So I was one of your subjects? Like a client, sort of.” I blushed and looked down at my hands, “Yeah I guess you where.”

“So tell me then,” she said a devilish smile on her face. “Why me?”

I hesitated. I glanced up at her and she raised an eye brow, “Go on,” She said.

“Well, you looked sad, upset. Whatever. Normally I'd kinda just skim over people like that and see if I can find someone in a more severe state but you covered your sadness up. You held your head high as though nothing could ever bother you in the world and the world should watch out for you.” Alys looked at me and her wall broke down as the sadness washed over her face.

“Like right now for example. I can read on your face that you are sad. Why are you sad, Alys?”

“There's this girl that I like and I am not sure if she likes me back, so yeah I'm upset but also frustrated that I can't figure out if she likes me back. That's all I'm saying.” Alys refused to look directly at me. I looked at her though, her cheek where flushed by the embarrassment of her small confession and her eyes glanced wildly around her.

“So you are a lesbian, or are you bisexual,” I questioned lightly trying not to embarrass her further.
“I'm bi,” She said as she played with a magazine corner. We sat in silence for a little bit. For some reason I felt like she was waiting for me to call her a freak and walk away. In truth to you and myself I was a little bit surprised that she liked both genders but even if she was like that I didn't see her any different than I did when I first saw her here in the park.

I was a bit startled when Alys spoke again. “Aren't you going to laugh?” She said blinking and looking at me.

“Why would I do that?”

“Well aren't you disgusted that I like a girl? Most guys laugh and say that girls and girls don't go together so I thought that you'd ask if I was kidding. I thought that you'd ask what I really was upset about.” Alys had her mask on again either that or her sadness had been replaced with a real emotion of expectancy. I just raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“I think that your reason of being upset is true and I think that you being bi is okay. It's not like I'm against it or anything, so what if you like a girl. We all like people. Love happens even if it's one way, we still like them. If the person you like happens to be a girl then there is nothing you can do about that,” I smiled softly. Alys's eyes seem to fill with tears as though my semi conscious statement was moving to her. She blinked rapidly and sniffled a little, “Go on with you story,” she said in a small voice. 4

I searched my mind for where I left off. “Well, last month there was a girl on the bench crying. I sat down next to her and spoke to her. When she calmed down she told me why she was crying. Her mother had a new boyfriend who liked to abuse them both. She began to cry once more and I offered a shoulder. Of course Bri picked the most brilliant time to walk out of a nearby shop and spot us.

“She stormed up to us. The girl moved away from me as soon as Bri screamed my name and called the other girl similar names to what her mother's boyfriend had been calling her. The girl began to weep and Bri dumped a slushy on me saying that it was over.” Alys looked at me in wonder. “Wrong place at the wrong time?” She said. I nodded, “I still helped the girl though. We called the abuse hotline together and I helped her through it all. I'm very glad about that.”

Alys nodded, her hair bouncing. “Yeah me too, actually,” she glanced down to her wrist. “Oh my gosh! I really have to go.” She smiled at me. “It was fun though, talking with you and all.” Magazines in hand she left. I watched her keenly. She's definitely changed. That shinny strawberry blonde hair? It was never like that. It used to be frizzy, like she used to have an afro.

She used to wear glasses but now she's replaced them with contacts. Her style in clothing changed too. Any other boy with no real brains to study would think she's someone else. Even I am developing because I didn't know It was Alys until she said that she had changed. Any other boy would think that she is new to school when really she's watched us all grow up into our own individuals.

I didn't want to get up yet. I closed my eyes, not thinking much about the cold or anything really. I could hear the shuffling of leafs and the wind whispering to me. Then I heard ragged breaths and the slight limp of uneven walking in front of me. My eyes opened to see a girl with new bruises, and a black eye. Crying and robbed of breath. Her school uniform was dirty and undone, I knew her. It was Zinnia. The girl who's mother's boyfriend was abusive verbally and physically. And it absolutely broke my heart to pieces when she sobbed once she saw that I recognized her.

CHAPTER TWO

Wounded Hearts

“Mom?Mom!” I screamed, supporting Zinnia's weight. Mom swiveled in and gasped when she say the state Zinnia was in.

“Oh my! Honey, set her down on the couch. Hurry now.” My mom helped me. Zinnia collapsed into the soft plushness of our couch. My mother left the room and came back with a first aid kit.

“Mom, give just one second to breath and take this in. Please.” I crouched in front of Zinnia so she could see me. Her eyes found mine a mixture of hurt, fright, relief, and sadness swam in them slowly. “Zin, it's gonna be okay. I swear.” I rest my hand gingerly on her knee.

“Thank you,” She whispered, closing her eyes.

My mom came into the room (when did she even leave?) with a bowl of warm water, washcloth and a brown bottle of stuff. My little brother trailed in after her with a bag of cotton balls.

“Seth? Go into my room and find some comfortable cloths for your friend here.” I nodded and left, slightly fazed that mom didn't even ask why I brought Zinnia here. It's not I don't talk to mom about my talks with strangers (believe me I do) but I'd at least expect a “Why'd you bring home a battered girl?” Maybe I expect too much.

Scouring my mom's room made me uncomfortable. I don't like sniffing around peoples things. It's wrong. But under these circumstances I felt it necessary to push aside these feelings. Plus it was mandatory I put Zinnia in the most comfort she can possibly be with me here. I couldn't help but feel extremely mad at Zinnia's mother's ex-boyfriend. I was more than positive that Zinnia had followed through with what the person on the hotline had advised her to do. But I'm sure she didn't go looking for her mom's ex.

When I found the clothes I needed I left and flew down the stairs. Zinnia was standing her shirt sort of open so mom could check her ribs and bruises and cuts. I stopped and set them on the small table behind the couch and quietly left. I sat at the top of the stairs, I couldn't see Zinnia or my mom. My brother came to sit next to me. He had a very peculiar look on his face. We sat there doing nothing, our ears perked up to our moms voice.

“Who did this to you honey?” She had asked Zinnia in a quieted voice. I could hear Zinnia sigh softly.

“Jake.”

“Who's Jake?” My mom prodded.

“Jake is my moms ex boyfriend,” Zinnia answered with a tinge of hatred. “He used to live with us, mom and me, until I did something about the abusing and he was suddenly gone one day. Mom said nothing so I did nothing. Thank God and Seth.” My heart buzzed at my name.

“A few weeks went by and I was walking home from the store when I say Jake. He spotted me–” Zinnia stopped. I figured that now would be a good time to go downstairs so I padded slowly so in case Zinnia was still sorta undressed I could jet back up the stairs with our being in trouble.

Zin was in the cloths that I had brought down and my mom was inspecting her face.

“You poor dear,” she was saying. “Is your mom home? We're going to do something about this. I promise. I'd feel more at ease if you where to call her and let her know what happened and that you are very safe with us.” Zinnia nodded and I handed her my cell phone. She went into the hallway and while she dialed mom cleaned up and started dinner. Tom, was in the dining room table watching us.

“Mom?” Tome whined

“Yes dear?”

“Why'd Sef beated up that girl?” Tom watched me cut cheese

“Seth didn't beat her up, dear.”

“Oh. Who did?” His beady eyes where still on me, I rolled my shoulders slightly. Although it wasn't like I could roll off his gaze.

“Tom why don't you set the table? Extra cup for Zinnia,” My mom said to him, giving him a look so that he'd listen. Tom didn't argue his order and began getting things for the table.

“Thank you mom. For everything. Especially fixing up Zin.”

“You are very welcome sweetie. Is she the girl you told me about?”

“Yes she is. I never expected to see her again. This is really getting to me.”

“Things happen and we'll help Zinnia with her life if she'll accept it. I'm sure the police will do something about it.”

“Me too.”

We wrapped up dinner (which was grilled cheese sandwiches), putting plates away and clearing up messes. Zinnia had left a message for her mother that she was staying with us for a night plus what had happened. Cell phone in hand I went upstairs to my room so I could change. While in front of the mirror I looked at me. Shaggy blonde hair, strange green eyes. I thought about how much stuff had happened today. Alys and Zinnia had been brought to me today. I was anxious to see what tomorrow would bring.

. . .

I quietly crept into the living room. Zinnia was sitting on the couch, staring mindlessly into the TV. I was glad she was comfortable here.

“T'sup Zinnie? I said sitting on the love seat next to her. Her head whipped to face me.

“Oh god... you scared me!” She whispered loudly, “Zinnie?” She smiled, “I like it. Thank you so much Seth. I was so relieved when I saw you there at the park. I was so scared to go home I don't know why but when Jake left me there home didn't seen the same anymore.” eyes pointed down she twisted her hands. “Plus you had helped that one day and I just wanted to find you and...be your friend,” her lips pulled in the corner. Then she grinned wildly looking up at me.

I thought about this for a moment. “N– not that I was searching for you after the beating to be your friend!” She finally gushed. “That was before.”

“Ah now that makes sense,” I laughed lightheartedly

“I have friends, don't get me wrong, just they don't listen. Not like you do. They'll interrupt me mid sentence to gush over something I said, it gets very annoying. So now I pause every so often because I expect one of them to burst out with an 'OMG' or laugh.” She scoffed and I smiled putting my legs up on the ottoman. Zinnia watched me do this and unexpectedly said, “Can I put my feet in your lap?” I cocked a quizzical head. So she explained, “Sorry, it's just that I like to do things like that, be....intimate. Oh god, well not really like that but....” She let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head.

“Sure,” I said. Zin looked up and half smiled. “ I get what you are trying to say. I know your type of personality, sorta, you are a very touchy-feely person. I bet you love to give hugs and expect some intimacy with a boyfriend....or girlfriend. Whichever.” I said wile she put her feet on my lap.

“hmm... you're good! I do in fact love hugs and intimate is good in a boyfriend or girlfriend.” she smirked devilishly, I blushed.

“Anyway, about what you said about your friends. I know how you feel about that. A couple of my fiends aren't much for listening bit it's weird. They might not listen too well yet you know they are still there when you need them most. Making them worth keeping,” I said to her, she nodded.

“With you it's different,” she said, “ Being that im used to interrupting I'm so not so used to having someone just listening. When you listen you do just that, listen. You don't nod your head to make the other person know you are listening, making me feel kinda awkward.”

“So I need to work on letting people know that I am listening?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you do. Otherwise people might think they're spewing to a statue or something– Stop

that!” She said giggling

I still continued to nod my head eagerly, making me dizzy to a certain point. “You mean like this?” I asked. Zinnia giggled.

“Maybe just a little more subtle.” She brought her thumb and index finger together to represent 'little'.

“Okay, I can handle this,” I spoke determinedly.

Zinnia began speaking about her school (It's boring) (Not my opinion, her opinion) then her mom and so on. She talked while I nodded. Slowly at first. By the end of a sentence she burst out laughing. I tried to shush her because it was late and people where sleeping.

“I – I – Ah!” she laughed. I chuckled and stopped rocking out.

“What?” I asked in mock offence.

“Y– you in a rock vid or something?” she asked catching her breath.

“You are the one who said subtly. So I did. I nodded my head slowly as if listening to classical music then I rocked out at the end.” I said indignantly. I put my elbows on Zinnia's legs and put my head into my hands. Everything felt off axis and I was sure my brain had falled out of place being that it felt like it was bouncing around, smacking against my skull.

“uh.....my head,” I groaned.

“Maybe we should do a different technique,” She smiled.

“Liiiiiike?”

“Mmhm?” She gave a sharp nod.

“Mmhm?” My eyebrows met in question.

“Mmmmhm!”

“Mmmm...” I groaned. “So you want me to do that?”

“Mmhm!!” She 'mmed', “Exactomundo. See how I let you know that I was listening? That's what you need to do in able–”

“MMMHMM.” I mmed.

“To...let someone know–”

“MMM!HMMM!”

“....You're listening–”

“mm,mm,mm,mm,mmmmm”

“Yeah...”

In truth I knew how to do all this, because I goofed off she ended up laughing and not focusing on what had happened. I felt happy to see her smile. I guess I should say I like her but I barely know her. She is attractive though. Even through her shiner and bruises you can easily tell that she is beautiful. I also saw her about a month back

Zinnia had shimmery dark brown hair,it was long and it curled slightly at the bottom. She was on the short side and a bit on the skinny side. She has very good posture and looks girly when she smiled and blushed. Her face if gentle, her eyes are not quite almond shape and they where a deep brown. She had full lips that I'd last seen painted red. High cheek bones made her look slightly dangerous but when she smiled everything lights up. Once her lips pulled into a grin she seemed like the most approachable girl on earth, not a lie.

So okay, I like her. Doesn't mean that she likes me though. Why'd she like my anyway? Well...never mind. If I asked the girls at my school why they like me they'd make a list so long it'll be bigger than santa's. Of course that's an assumption. Then again you know what they say about when you assume, you make and ass out of you and me. That was bad.

“Tell me I'm not beautiful,”Zinnia asked suddenly. Her cheeks reddened slightly

“You're not beautiful?” I said reluctantly, eying her carefully.

“Are you lying?” she smirk

“Yes,” My face flared when she smiled at me.

“Why'd you ask?”

“Heh, my friend Robbie says that any boy who doesn't thing that I'm beautiful or any of those other petty description words they are lying.” Wow. That's something.

“So you ask people if they think you're beautiful, cute, hot, pretty and what not?”

“Yeah so I can find out who says I'm neither of those and prove that to Robbie that the world doesn't evolve around my 'beauty'” she air quoted beauty.

I thought for a moment, looking at the TV. “So you think you are none of these?”

“Of course I do! It's just that I don't like to brag about it,” She crossed her arms

“You let Robbie do it for you?”

“You make it seem awful!” Zinnia covered her face with her hands.

“Sorry didn't mean to. Is Robbie a boyfriend?” I hope he isn't

“He wishes. I don't like bragging really. Lot's of guy friends wish I liked them more than a

friend. I don't date because I want to find the right boy.”

Zinnia had on a very thoughtful face when she said that. As though she was 5 again, thinking about her imaginary first kiss with her prince. Her smile was distant and not towards anything in particular. A few moments later she let out a yawn and clicked off the TV.

“Oh woah! It's late.” the clock read 2:26am. I got up.

“Off to bed then,” I said. Zinnia popped up from the couch

“Erm... I hope you don't mind but can I have a hug?” She stepped closer to me, arms in front of her curving out for my body to be enclosed in them. She looked so adorable. I can see where Robbie's coming from I thought. Closing the distance I really hugged her. She came up to my chin and it felt so perfect. As if she was fitted for this hug in particular. Zin felt so fragile in my arms, it was the most amazing hug I've ever had, it even beats the mother hug.

We pulled away. I began to leave but stopped when I got to the base of the stairs. “Uh, Zinnie?”

“Yeah?”

“How'll you know when you find the right guy?”

“Y'know, I'm not sure but I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'll find me.” And with that I said goodnight and continued upstairs. Heart beating mercilessly.

This is for you baby

I can't stand another night,

without you.

Everything don't seem,

like they used to be,

Between you and me.

I'm missin' your love.

I need your love, your passion.

The love that's ever lastin'

I'm missing your love.

And it's true,

that i love you.

and it's true,

you're the only one.

and i do,

i adore you.

and it's true,

you make me feel alive.

you say that 

I'm your only one.

now i've done it,

i feel numb.

tell me,

where did we go wrong?

You where my bestfriend 

and boyfriend.

Now it seems like you're my worst friend.

I gotta do soul searchin'

without you I'm a whole different person.

I ain't acting like i used to.

I don't feel love like i used to.

It was your love i was used to.

Why did i have to lose,

your love?

Your love is what it was.

That had me feeling buzzed.

you are my true love.

I feel bad that i lost you 

I got so many things to say.

I guess that it means,

that I'm missin you.

Sorry for all the things that i put you through.

I'm so god damned lost with out you

Come find me....

I'm missin you....

And your love.